The Book

Well I finished 'the book'. It is Help at Any Cost by Maia Szalavitz. I have very mixed feelings about this. But I did want to start this as a source of information for other parents in similiar situations.

The author is very strongly against any of the 'tough love' programs, and focuses on three of them, one of which is the association to which my daughters school belongs. She is going to Cross Creek Manor - which of all the places she talked about came out the most favorable. It does have certified therapist working with the girls (and boys in the other side). Which is also why it is the most expensive.

If my daughter were out of the country I would be much more concerned. In fact, we first looked at Jamaica because of the significantly reduced cost, but decided against it.

There are other alternatives out there - but these are difficult to find, and even more difficult to get information on - again why I started this. So as a source of information this book is out there.

I don't agree with some of it. I have attended both Discovery and Focus - two of the seminars that the schools provide, and have read her report on a couple who left in the middle of them. I would challenge the author to keep a truly open mind, and try experiencing these herself before declaring how damaging they are. I did not see some of the things described here, and where the seminars do work to question your values, they do not attempt to impose any on you.

I do believe that the seminars are valuable, and I'm heading to my third this weekend. I think my daughter is in a good program, and while there are questions, the growth I can hear in my daughter leads me to still believe I have made the right decision.

M-