Merry Fricken Christmas

Yes, this is Diane. It's been really quite hard since Mike got a short time job in Detroit. But money is money and this is a great opportunity and will hopefully help him to get a foot in the door with this company.

But when he's not home, Katie reverts back to her old old self calling me that endearing name of "fucking bitch". Yes, as Mike has noticed I have "checked out" regarding her and my relationship. I really tried to make it work when she got home, and there were some nice moments, but sadly that's all they were, moments.

When Mike got home on Christmas Eve, she was all peaches and cream. Christmas day was fine until around dinner when she reverted back to screaming about things and making everyone miserable. Even Scout has gone back to hiding again when she starts her fits.

The lies have returned and its almost like she wasn't gone for three years, and has not retained anything that they tried to teach her there. The "real" reason she quit Frisches came out when she was talking to one of Erik's friends yesterday. She was sitting on the couch talking like no one else was around when Mike and I were just steps away. Though she exclaimed to us -- sometimes at the top of her lungs -- the "real" reason was because her grades were being affected, we all knew that was a lie. I even went so far as to talk with her manager to make sure she wasn't fired. No, she quit. No two week notice and at the beginning of Christmas break when she could have been pulling in the dough. Just another of her extremely bad choices in life. It seems that she thrives on negativity. Oh, and if you're wondering, the "real" reason was because she didn't like some girl there. Big fricken deal. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it. You will go through life and every job you have there will be someone that rubs you the wrong way.

Today we had our big family meeting before Mike left. We didn't have one when he wasn't here because he is the calming person in it all. It can very quickly break down to a screaming match -- with Katie doing the screaming and then she storms off and cries in her bedroom, playing the victim and drama queen to the hilt.

Mike laid ground rules that this was not to be a session of pointing fingers and we all have things to work on around here, which I agree with. When it was Katies turn she came out and asked "of the two family leaders sitting here" why she hadn't been kicked out yet! I asked her if that was her goal because she truly has been acting like it. She has been making sure to push every button she can to see if we will. And I guess if it were just my decision -- which I'm very glad it's not -- she would be out of here. But luckily Mike has the solid, calm head in the family. Plus it's HIS daughter, it's not my blood daughter and I would maybe feel differently if she was.

I spend my days longer at work, or up in my room again just to make sure there is no fight or confrontation. But then since I'm not around she'll start picking a fight with the boys and they end up coming to me to try to knock sense into her. We've all had it.

When she was having a screaming fit at Jon the other night (it was amazing how calm Jon was through the whole thing!) she said she is planning on getting an apartment with a friend in April or May. He tried telling her that in order to get an apartment you have to have a job, a steady source of income. But she knows everything, rules don't pertain to her. I truly feel she'll have to hit ALL the bumps in the road that life will bring before she learns anything.

Sad but true.

Hope I make it through the next few days until Mike gets back here. Lord, give me strength.
-D

Consequences

It amazes me sometimes how, after all this time in the program, Katie still doesn't understand that actions have consequences, or in this case inaction.

She is really struggling in one of her math classes. So she asked me last night for a ride in early to school to work on her math. Not a huge deal, I do this at least once a week as her brother has German club before school as well.

So I get dressed and go downstairs, turn on everyone's lights and tell them to get up. Her other brother is already in the shower.

Come 7:05, I go back up and she is still in bed. I yell at her and her youngest brother. At 7:20 she comes down staird and goes out for a cigarette, since she is not allowed to smoke on the property. She then comes in and says she is ready to go.

Well the bus comes at 7:28. They are the last pickup on the bus - after they get on it is straight to the school. It is 7:26. I say too late - the bus is here, it will get you to school as quickly as I can. There is no reason to waste the gas and my time. If she wanted to be there early, then she should have gotten up on time. So she is pretty mad at me this morning.

I feel bad because I want to be as encouraging and helpful as possible, especially with trying to get her math grade up. But actions have consequences, and I have to stand firm on this. (Just like I won't give her a ride to work because it is three blocks from the house - it is very difficult to find any place closer. Sure it is cold some times - but that is what coats are for.)