Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Day 6

Well things are going pretty well, as I expected. No real issues yet. The biggest thing I notice now (aside form my grocery bill seeming to skyrocket, but that is probably not a direct correlation) is that Katie is simply trying too much, too hard. Jumping into as much as she can, always wanting to help and do everything with everybody.

At our first family meeting on Sunday we discussed this a bit - the fact that she needs to build the relationships back with her brothers, and not just jump into them going full speed ahead.

She is getting involved with her church, and that should be a good thing. She has put in several job applications, also a good thing. So we just keep going for now.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Long time no post

I've never been one for journaling, writing in a diary, or keeping track of every bit of food that goes in my mouth and writing in this blog is no different. That's why Mike has written the bulk of entries here.

But right now, Mike is in a car with Katie, heading to the Vegas airport. I've talked with both of them. She said she cried a bit, mostly because she couldn't say goodbye. But she's excited to be coming home, excited to see the boys and Scout. I told her I hope we can have a fresh start and things will go well.

Mike did give her our home contract and she has read it and understands there are new rules to live by.

I didn't sleep well last night. I think I turned off the tv sometime after 3am when Girl, Interuppted was just finishing on HBO. Very apropos, I guess. I am worried that Katie will go back to old ways, and so will I. Mike reminds me that we have more "tools" to use now and we are much stronger as a couple and as a family. I agree, but I still worry. I know she's not "fixed", I know there will be ups and downs. I just really hope that if she chooses to not follow the rules and has to leave the house that she doesn't start cutting, or actually follow thru with her threat of suicide -- which I truly feel was always just a cry for help. Though I know we can't make her do anything anymore, things are HER choices, I would still feel horrible.

I will not hold any past grudges, I am willing to make this a fresh start. The boys, however, are having some problems. There is a lot of anger there towards her, money spent on her that could have been spent for family vacations or other things. They just don't understand why she wouldn't just do what needs to be done and get out of there as soon as she could instead of just sitting there for 3 years. And no one can really answer those things except her. And I have a feeling that those questions will be posed to her in the coming days.

The boys have already tried the "well, I'm sleeping at so-and-so's house on Wednesday night" trick, but we said no, they will welcome her home. It's not a celebration, as it could and should have been, but we will ALL start with a clean slate. Yes, there will be more rules for awhile, and more accountability will be held, but they are going to be alright.

The oldest even said he wishes he could get into his apartment sooner so he just wouldn't have to be around her at all. And I understand his thoughts on this because he's the one that has gotten to talk with her the most and he is the one that she has really ripped into the most, both on the phone and through letters. And he says he's not holding back when she gets home. He will not put up with her trying to push her "program" onto him. I told him I understand but to try to just welcome her home with an open mind and give her a chance.

It's going to be interesting! Stay tuned.

Monday, July 21, 2008

T - 44 hours and counting

I leave at 10 tomorrow morning, and will get into Vegas about 2:30 MDT (gaining 2 hours). Then the 2 hour drive to Utah.

I will be at the school at 8:00 am on Wednesday, and our flight out of Vegas it about 3 pm, so I'm hoping to leave by 11, and that shouldn't be a problem. 'B' plans on meeting with Katie and I, and they will get her stuff for us to pack up, and we are out of there. No goodbyes or anything - because we are pulling her we are effectively cut off from the program.

After almost three years, $150, we run out of money and that is it. No support, no access to the BBS, no more seminars, nothing. No reunion keys, no staffing. I don't like it, but it is our choice.

I am not happy about the lack of support for any transition plan from them, but am very grateful for the support we have gotten from local familes we have met through the program. I had really hoped to hav gotten past PC III, to see what we could learn there, and get the free family coaching. But none of that - in 44 hours we are on our own.

We have a home contract, and I think it will work. Her older brother has been working on her room - though he will be VERY busy the next two days to get it cleaned out completely - he had wanted it done last week but as is typical is waiting to the very last minute.

I'm taking Thursday off work since it is her first day home, to help a little with the transition. I have no idea how many clothes she will have from the school - I know she only has one other outfit, that we bought here during our pass before Christmas last year. So that is one of the first things - to get her clothes because after all, she has lost about 30 lbs since she was home over three years ago.

It will be a big change having her home - she hasn't lived here for the past 39 months (except for one week, she left in May of 2005).

I have to hope for the best, and stay strong and live by our values.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

T -6 and counting

We had what was our last weekly therapy call last night - a day early due to a scheduling conflict with 'B' the therapist. It didn't go so great. It surprises me how quick she has wanted to take her exit plan, not two weeks after committing to stay. I'm real curious as to her reaction next Wednesday when she sees me there to bring her home.

One of the girls who was in her group and graduated in March is back in the program - a bit of a disappointment because when I met her she seemed to be doing so well. So even those who graduate don't always work out, and sometimes those who don't graduate do.

Katie also said that she overdid basketball practice on Tuesday, and then fell out of the top bunk and hurt her leg, and is now on crutches. I told 'S', the family rep, to go ahead and let her see the doctor to make sure nothing is really wrong, but this so much seems to be her old behavior.

There is so much to do before I leave on Tuesday, right now it feels overwhelming.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Not much going on

I feel like we are just marking time, waiting. Some things are going on, but not really too much.

There is a couple we met at the seminars locally here, and Diane and I had dinner with her a few weeks ago to talk about Katie coming home (their son graduated close to two years ago from another school). Then this weekend I had dinner with her again and a really good conversation, including her giving me a copy of her son's contract so we have an idea on what to start with.

Diane dropped off Katie's two younger brothers at the Leadership camp in California yesterday, so I hope that goes well for them - I hope it is both fun and a learning experience for them.

That also means I'm a bachelor for the week - what fun! I hope to start working on the home contract this week.

On our call on Thursday (Katie's 18th birthday as well) things went pretty well. She got support to be back fully on level 3, and chose not to vote up this week until she can show some consistency first - a good sign. Of course now she is working again, once the clock is really ticking.

16 days to go.