Wednesday, August 30, 2006

talking again

We had a decent call with Katie today. Not as rough as the last few, she spent most of it trying to tell us why she wasn't in orange - and interesting change. She had some issues with her new roommates that stemmed from the same base as always, but hopefully is getting past them and stays out of orange for once.

The key right now is just seeing how she handles some of the events that are happening - does she break down and quit again, or is she going to start being accountable and make some progress. I don't have a crystal ball - only time will tell here.


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

6 more months

Well, we got our loan app back today - for 6 more months only. We will have to reapply after that - and probably get a co-signer. The good thing is that the payments are less than I expected, the bad is it is only 6 months, and the odds of her getting out by March 23 2007 are pretty slim. However financially we are doing ok - took out a second mortgage to get rid of a bunch of older bills, so once we get the rest of those accounts closed out then things should look better as well - cut our monthly payments in less than half, which gives us the money for this second school loan. Of course, I've also co-signed my son's loan for his first year of college.
It looks like Katie has managed to stay out of Orange so far - a graduate visited the school the other day and posted that on the BBS for us, so I expect that I'll be talking to her tonight. Maybe she is finally going to start moving - who knows. I don't try to predict anything any more.


Friday, August 25, 2006

Well she says she's going to work the program . . .

I got a letter yesterday from Katie, talking about moving to another group, and trying to start working now. She said she only had 35 demerits so far that week, so we'll see.
It started with a list of resentments, and that triggered me a bit. I immediately wrote her back about it. I was good, and didn't go point by point, but I did have to talk about how most of them had to do with her lack of respect for others - expecting everyone (especially me) to drop everything else whenever she wanted anything. Things like being upset because I would be reading or something, and not stop to pay attention to her. Or being upset because I would be talking to her brothers when she was in the car, about things we did together that she didn't. And not wanting to constantly drive her around wherever she wanted to go. Or embarrassing her in front of her friends.
That last one, of course, is a parents perogitive, and pleasure. Isn't that why we had kids in the first place, to embarrass them by being weird? ;-)
Diane is sending her a song that reminds her of Katie - Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. She is also making up some inspirational 'mini-posters' for her to help motivate her - kind of a turnabout - but we'll see if it helps. I like the one
"Put Your Big Girl Panties On And Just Deal With It!" She needs to take that to heart.
We'll see next week if things are better or not - we talk with her therapist then, and maybe Katie if she stays out of Orange, as well as the family rep.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Group Move

We talked to the therapist yesterday, as normal. He has pulled the trigger and moved Katie from group 'N' to group 'B'. She still has the same rep and therapist, but different girls. He took her out of orange with the move - basically gave her a fresh start.

He is getting as frustrated as we are. He joked with her the other day that her bus was here to take her to Jamaica - I'm just not so sure how much of a joke that truly is. With her not working for 11 months tomorrow, we have to find someway to get through to her.

I'm applying today for a 2nd student loan - another 52K on top of the 58K we did last year. Boy doesn't that excite me. We are doing this again through TeenHelp, and hope it goes through.

Feeling very frustrated and disillusioned right now.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

in other news

Oh yes, in addition tomorrow her big brother goes off to college. The house is sure getting bigger suddenly, and much quieter.

In the next few weeks we have to do and re-do bedrooms and move the remaining two boys around - so that we can finally (I know it has been nearly a year) clean out her room thoroughly. Most of the stuff in it can go - keep some of the books (maybe) - but posters etc. will be gone. She can't fit into any of her old clothes any more, so that isn't an issue

Still Orange - and struggling

This weeks update wasn't good news. Katie is still really struggling - she got over 800 demerits again last week. She did manage to question Garth on whether or not her new rules were too tough - but the other girls all said that it was very do-able for someone who wants to do it. Yes, in Orange it is extremely easy to get a cat. But getting 3 Cat 3's in one day is ridiculous. (Out of area, major disrespect, and dropping the 'F' bomb).

It was interesting that apparently they took group pictures again, and Katie tried to hide in the back this time - most likely so that her orange shirt wouldn't be seen. It didn't work - they ended up moving her to the front, but it was interesting how she suddenly wasn't mugging for the camera now.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Orange - and staffing

Well Katie is back in orange and looks to be there for a while. One interesting point - her therapist will no longer let her participate in the bi-weekly calls with him if she is in orange, and they hold all her mail as well. So more incentive for her to work.

I staffed Discovery this weekend - it was really great. I'm not sure that I got much more out of it staffing than attending, but it was really wonderful to watch my small group grow over the three days. The way the looks of despair, pain and sadness were replaced with hope, healing and joy was just fantastic. If it weren't for the logistics (since it is in Chicago - that is a six hour drive, plus hotel, plus taking off work for at least a two days (three if I don't try to drive home the evening after it is over) I would definitely do it again.