Friday, September 28, 2007

Talking the talk

We had our therapy call with Katie last night. I have to admit, it didn't have my full attention as the homecoming parade was last night, and we were running a concession stand for it, so I was counting and packing inventory while trying to listen.

She is talking the talk, but then she has done that so many times in the past. I gave her feedback that it wasn't about what she was saying, but what she was going to start doing. She says she wants to go up for level 3 again next week, and has support from all but one girl. So we'll see on that as well.

I also have to come clean and admit that I have not written her in some time - I am just completely out of things to say. I currently have three letters that I have yet to respond to. Part of me feels bad about that, but I still don't know at this point what to write, what to say. It seems that it is all becoming so routine any more - it amazes me that her 2nd anniversary slipped by and I didn't even notice it at the time. It is getting close to a year since we saw her last - but I don't want to spend the money to go out there again until she earns a pass - I don't want to reward her for sitting on her butt.

Friday, September 21, 2007

So did it work?

We had our call with 'A' last night, and Katie is still out of Orange, and in fact took level 2 this week. She missed support for it by one (to get support they need to have 3 or less 'no' votes, she had 4), but they can always choose to take it without support.

She is, once again, saying a lot of the right things, but the actions may not be supporting them.

She had decided to join the basketball team before, then just did as a manager. She declared this time she would join it and play, but then again only did it as a manager. Some of the girls in the group called her on this, to which she didn't respond well - however a bit later she did come clean, say that yes, she had said she would play, and the next day she was there as a player.

So we are pretty much back where we were before, waiting to see what she is going to do.

Friday, September 14, 2007


We had a pretty rough call with Katie and 'B' last night. Diane wrote up a really good set of numbers that he printed out, one per page, and gave to her as we talked. These were:

720 - Number of days she has been in the program

338 - Numbe of days since we have seen her

125,000 - approximate amount of money we have borrowed to pay for her tuition

1,300 - approximate monthly loan payments - which will be going up

30 - number of years we will be paying for these loans

73 - how old I will be when these are paid off. Retirement - yeah right!

294 - number of days until she is 18 and on her own

'B' added one more:
438,000 - number of minutes I've had to work to pay for her so far.

There wasn't much discussion. We wanted her to think on it first. She was out of orange, but only half the group supported her being out.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Weekly Family Rep call

With Mike being tied up with Band Booster stuff, I was on the weekly call with "A". Katie is back on Staff Buddy. She was off for a short while last week but I think she said Katie put herself back on it on Monday. The week before Katie was talking about making Level 2 within 2 weeks.

Katie had one day where she was crying a lot and asking to be changed to yet another group. "A" told her that the group was like a family and just because people are mad at her or act frustrated with her does not mean it's better just to leave. And, totally unplanned, the higher-level girls came in from their meeting and one came up to Katie and apologized for being frustrated with her and her actions. She said something like "We love you but are just tired of your actions." Hopefully that will help.

She's not moving too fast on her school work again and is re-reading (how many times is this now?) "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Steven Covey. You'd think for how many times she's read this, some of it would be sinking in. It's like she's just reading the words but not absorbing anything.

Before going on staff buddy, the goals she was working on was:
-working on her attitude
-following her process (this was given to her when she chose out of the last seminar. Before she says anything she has to think to herself "Is it honest? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?" But she has totally not done any of it because she thought it was stupid.)
-working on building trust
-get less than 100 demerits and get a self esteem book.

"A" realized that she has to call her on that last one because in something that was written a couple days before these goals she said she was *reading* a self-esteem book. So is she back to telling stories?

I guess Katie has also written a bit about her littlest half-brother Nicholas. We have heard that this boy is not well, but Mike and I don't believe that he's as sick as his ex and Katie say he is. The boys have said he is deaf and he's not real healthy but haven't said anything like what Katie says that he has Lupus -- and then at times she says he's got cancer really bad. Back to her old pattern.

Isn't Lupus an "adult" disease? I didn't think small children were ever diagnosed with that. But I could be making that up as I don't know for sure.

Anyway, Mike and I have an idea for next week's call with "B". Maybe a bit of "shock therapy" for her. No, not the kind with electrodes to the brain and a thing stuck in her mouth so she doesn't bite her tongue off. Though "A" and I laughed that sometimes we think maybe that's what we should do. Of course, we're kidding.

or are we...

Yes. Don't be sending me emails about that now. :-)

Alright, I'm outta here.