Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hmmm - an on topic update

*Shock* Actually talking about what is happening.

Things seem to be stable, though far from ideal. As she has stated, Diane has once again checked out - spending most of her time upstairs in our room. The boys and Katie are typically at each other most of the time. The youngest boy gets along the least with her - neither of them seems capable of NOT commenting when the other says something. He jumps all over her when she says anything - she in turn jumps all over his case (though usually a bit more visciously, laced with profanity) in response. Fun times - NOT.

The middle son is spending as much time away from the home as possible - part of this because of his new girlfriend (and I'm happy that one of my boys finally has a girlfriend). She is actually someone Katie knew before she left from one of the churches she went to. While she is also Katie's friend, Katie does not seem to realize that she comes over to see her brother, not her.

The younger boys and I are going up to see their older brother this weekend. Katie claims that I'm throwing her to the wolves by not taking her. She asked me if I expect the house to still be standing when we get back Saturday night - to which I responded that it will be if the people living here expect to continue that.

I'm actually not worried - Diane will either be upstairs (friday night) or working, while Katie will spend all her time on the computer in the basement, or sleeping. They will barely see each other, the same as if we were home.

I am tired of my home being a battlezone. I believe that once Katie is on her own, then there will be a chance for some healing on all sides to occur, and for some relationships to begin to build. I'd like to see Katie taking steps toward this goal, preparing herself for it - but things are to the point that unless she wants something from me she won't listen to anything I say.


nihil said...

Why would she listen to you?

Mike Carter said...

As I said, I no longer expect her to unless she wants something from me. Then she is all kind and sweetness, until she gets it.

Actually, if she wanted to, Katie could leave at any time. She is 18, I can't stop her, and would no longer try.

Of course that might mean no more free food, rides, clothes, tv, cable, computer, internet, etc. Taking responsibility for herself. Getting a job and finding out how the real world works.

Anonymous said...

You mention you don’t blog negatively much about your wife because that might sway the boys’ feelings toward her. Yet, you write an entire blog dedicated to how bad Katie is. You mention her brothers don’t like(essentially) Katie. Do you not see a connection between your attitude toward her (let alone exposing them to Lifespring seminars) and their purported feelings? Do you think the boys’ relationship with their sister does not deserve the same consideration you give their relationship with their mother?
You are afraid that it might hurt the boys to hear their mother bashed. Have you considered it might hurt Katie to BE bashed?

Your entire blog was posted without Katie’s consent or even notification. Have you thought she might not be comfortable with that? Do you know your posts about her personal struggles, her supposed vileness is now viewable to the entire world, the kids at her school, her future employers, her potential friends, people who will be cruel towards her? Do you not see how that is damagingly humiliating?? Do you ever given one thought to the well being of this fragile child?

And this blog, of course, is the least of the ways you failed Katie. #1 being locking her in a torture chamber for 3 years because you chose to "not beleive" reports, books, first hand documents, etc, which would make any decent parent run screaming in the other direction

Anonymous said...

How were you convinced to do something so insane & cruel to your own flesh and blood?

This former wwasp parent says WWASP seminars and program manipulates parents into it through coercive persuasion:
“In short - yes the BBS was used to encourage a negative, cold and callous attitude toward the kids. Like the parent support groups, it was used to re-enforce the conditioning that takes place in the seminars. It was used to create a dependency upon the program for one's social net work and even one's own sense of self. It helps one to become a good program parent.”

Here’s some info about those seminars

‘Critics have accused Resource Realizations' seminars, like the better-known est and Lifespring, of "brainwashing" participants. Gilcrease was a Lifespring facilitator for five years.
Resource Realizations is a defendant in several lawsuits where parents claim their children were emotionally abused by seminar facilitators or staff at behavior-therapy facilities where teen seminars are held.’
More on resource and Gilcrease:

Gilcrease uses Lifespring’s tactics, which itself uses EST. This clinical study concludes

Lifespring induces pathology:
“Basing our conclusions on a participant-observation study,..the impact of the training was essentially pathological. First, ego functions were systematically undermined and regression was promoted. Second, the ideational or interpretive framework of the training was based upon regressive modes of reasoning Third, the structure and content of the training …stimulated early narcissistic conflicts, and defenses, which accounted for the
elation and sense of heightened well-being achieved by many participants.
I found myself doubting my own reality and giving into the reality of the group…..

And before you call the above “internet” evidence realize that the above is sworn testimony, the findings of clinical studies and va. news articles and accounts in lawsuits.

Do you really feel the above is all meaningless? I just wish you’d at least look over some of the info on WWASP, and understand what you put Katie through. She’s your daughter; the parents from WWASP are not. You will regret it if you loose her.

Stop talking about how horrible she is!