Well, Katie is still on Jeopardy. She might get off before PC II, we don't know at this point. So she might still have some sort of pass, but as of right now she doesn't.
So I'm booking my return flight for Monday from PCII. If she does earn a pass then we can do one day on Sunday (why take a red-eye Sunday night if I'm still going to miss work on Monday anway, when I can take a non-stop during the day?).
Monday, January 28, 2008
First call
We had our first call with 'S' on Friday, and she was very nice. While we are going to miss 'A', 'S' does seem to be on the ball.
Katie is going to go up to get off of Jeopardy today, and 'S' says that she has been working hard, though still has some honesty issues and the rebuilding of trust to work on . We are set for PC II in less than two weeks, but still don't know if Katie has earned another pass with that or not ('S' is supposed to find out this morning on that).
It also turns out that the last regular season basketball game for the girls is on the night we fly out, so we also are having her check to see if it is ok if we go to it (we probably won't be able to make the freshman game (at least not all of it), but should be able to be there for all of the varsity game). I don't know if Katie has been going to any of the away games as manager, or if she will be there at all. Still, it isn't like we have anything else to do that evening before PC II anyway (though I have seen some people talking about meeting at a local restaurant).
Katie is going to go up to get off of Jeopardy today, and 'S' says that she has been working hard, though still has some honesty issues and the rebuilding of trust to work on . We are set for PC II in less than two weeks, but still don't know if Katie has earned another pass with that or not ('S' is supposed to find out this morning on that).
It also turns out that the last regular season basketball game for the girls is on the night we fly out, so we also are having her check to see if it is ok if we go to it (we probably won't be able to make the freshman game (at least not all of it), but should be able to be there for all of the varsity game). I don't know if Katie has been going to any of the away games as manager, or if she will be there at all. Still, it isn't like we have anything else to do that evening before PC II anyway (though I have seen some people talking about meeting at a local restaurant).
Thursday, January 24, 2008
firming up plans
Some changes. I don't remember (and I'm too lazy to check) if I mentioned, but we have a new family rep now - 'S'. 'A' didn't leave, but is now doing staff instead. She will be missed.
We actually have our first real call with 'S' tomorrow night, but I did talk with her briefly yesterday, to find out the status on Katie and the next seminar. She is still in Jeopardy, and still not supported for level 5, so no PC III. Instead we will do PC II the weekend before.
Not completely bad news, though not good. We had other plans on the PC III weekend, so we can now do them. What it does mean is at best we could do PC III in April, which would put, at best, PC IV in August. Of course, throughout this entire time, when has anything worked out under the best case?
What we still have to find out tomorrow night is if she gets another pass with PC II. If so then we could do the two days (Sun-Mon) afterward. Diane has her realtor's convention on that Tuesday, so she has to be back in Vegas for that, and I'll fly hom then. If she doesn't have a pass then I'll fly home on Monday.
But we did get cheap flights out (though I haven't booked mine back yet, as I don't know which day I'm returning), and I don't think we will need a room for her, as she won't be at level 5 so she won't be staying overnight with us.
We are also going to ask about going to the last girls basketball game - it is away about an hour north from her school. I don't know if it would be an issue, or if she would even go. Making the freshman game will be a bit of a rush - we basically would have to go straight there from the airport and not loose much time getting out of Vegas (arrive 1 pm, lose and hour, drive for 3 - that is the start time of the game). But then she isn't with the freshman, she is a manager for the varsity team anyway. But we have to ask 'S' about that as well.
We actually have our first real call with 'S' tomorrow night, but I did talk with her briefly yesterday, to find out the status on Katie and the next seminar. She is still in Jeopardy, and still not supported for level 5, so no PC III. Instead we will do PC II the weekend before.
Not completely bad news, though not good. We had other plans on the PC III weekend, so we can now do them. What it does mean is at best we could do PC III in April, which would put, at best, PC IV in August. Of course, throughout this entire time, when has anything worked out under the best case?
What we still have to find out tomorrow night is if she gets another pass with PC II. If so then we could do the two days (Sun-Mon) afterward. Diane has her realtor's convention on that Tuesday, so she has to be back in Vegas for that, and I'll fly hom then. If she doesn't have a pass then I'll fly home on Monday.
But we did get cheap flights out (though I haven't booked mine back yet, as I don't know which day I'm returning), and I don't think we will need a room for her, as she won't be at level 5 so she won't be staying overnight with us.
We are also going to ask about going to the last girls basketball game - it is away about an hour north from her school. I don't know if it would be an issue, or if she would even go. Making the freshman game will be a bit of a rush - we basically would have to go straight there from the airport and not loose much time getting out of Vegas (arrive 1 pm, lose and hour, drive for 3 - that is the start time of the game). But then she isn't with the freshman, she is a manager for the varsity team anyway. But we have to ask 'S' about that as well.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Songs in my head
Lately it seems like I constantly have songs running through my head - like someone has picked a soundtrack for my life, but it constantly gets stuck for hours at a time (even in my sleep). So last night on our call with 'B' another one hit, and I almost laughed out loud (and it wasn't funny).
Katie is on Jeopardy (and no, it isn't the Jeopardy theme, but the Greg Kihn song ("Our loves in Jeopardy"), or even worse, the Weird Al Parody ("I lost on Jeopardy") right now.
A part of me should feel frustrated (not about the music going on over and over and over again in my head) because there is a good chance we won't be doing PC III next month now, instead doing PC II a week earlier. Which of course would mean at least 2 more months before a possible graduation. But I'm not, because learning to deal with these setbacks is exactly what she needs.
I am frustrated because I hate being in this limbo state of not knowing what is going to happen, not being able to plan (and in this case not being able to book our flights). But in a way I'm almost relieved, because it has been so long since we did PC I (back in April of 2006), doing PC II wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. Ben suggested the possibility of doing both, but we just can't swing that (it would mean us being out there for almost 2 weeks, and there just isn't any way we can afford that, nor can leave Katie's two brothers home for that length of time at once (they are good boys, but even so 4-6 days is quite a bit, evne with people checking in on them (and we have no relatives around either, except their older brother who can't just take a couple weeks off from college))). And we don't know if she would have a pass with PC II like she will with PC III.
So still we wait. We will call Ben mid-week next week to get a final determination, as we will run up against that wonderful 14-day advance purchase limitation to get out there.
So I don't see this as a bad thing, either way. But I do want it to be settled, that is where my frustrations are right now.
Katie is on Jeopardy (and no, it isn't the Jeopardy theme, but the Greg Kihn song ("Our loves in Jeopardy"), or even worse, the Weird Al Parody ("I lost on Jeopardy") right now.
A part of me should feel frustrated (not about the music going on over and over and over again in my head) because there is a good chance we won't be doing PC III next month now, instead doing PC II a week earlier. Which of course would mean at least 2 more months before a possible graduation. But I'm not, because learning to deal with these setbacks is exactly what she needs.
I am frustrated because I hate being in this limbo state of not knowing what is going to happen, not being able to plan (and in this case not being able to book our flights). But in a way I'm almost relieved, because it has been so long since we did PC I (back in April of 2006), doing PC II wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. Ben suggested the possibility of doing both, but we just can't swing that (it would mean us being out there for almost 2 weeks, and there just isn't any way we can afford that, nor can leave Katie's two brothers home for that length of time at once (they are good boys, but even so 4-6 days is quite a bit, evne with people checking in on them (and we have no relatives around either, except their older brother who can't just take a couple weeks off from college))). And we don't know if she would have a pass with PC II like she will with PC III.
So still we wait. We will call Ben mid-week next week to get a final determination, as we will run up against that wonderful 14-day advance purchase limitation to get out there.
So I don't see this as a bad thing, either way. But I do want it to be settled, that is where my frustrations are right now.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
More progress
We talked with 'A' last night - she had to reschedule our normal call. Still good all around - Katie is on manor service, and only needs a little over 200 more points for level 5 - she is hoping to go up next week. So it really looks like we will be doing PC III in February.
I didn't realize that the pass with PC III was an overnight one. Right now it looks like we would just do two days though - with travel and all even that is pushing it for the amount that we can be gone. I laughed though, because for the first time CC's scheduling is actually in our favor, slightly. Diane has a conference in Vegas right before PC III, so the night before I have to drive back there to pick her up (I'm hoping to come in a couple of days early for the pass). Having to have Katie back by 8 pm the night before works out well for us then!
Now we just have to get final confirmation next week that she is eligible so we can actually book the flights etc. And figure out how to pay for them of course. That is not getting any easier.
I didn't realize that the pass with PC III was an overnight one. Right now it looks like we would just do two days though - with travel and all even that is pushing it for the amount that we can be gone. I laughed though, because for the first time CC's scheduling is actually in our favor, slightly. Diane has a conference in Vegas right before PC III, so the night before I have to drive back there to pick her up (I'm hoping to come in a couple of days early for the pass). Having to have Katie back by 8 pm the night before works out well for us then!
Now we just have to get final confirmation next week that she is eligible so we can actually book the flights etc. And figure out how to pay for them of course. That is not getting any easier.
Friday, January 04, 2008
New Year, good start
We had our weelky call with Katie and 'B' last night. Diane and I laughed a bit, because Katie comes in and says she has to cut the call short (to about 20 minutes) because of the basketball game. We both immediately responded that we should then whine about it for 15 minutes - and Katie immediately caught it and said NO! We didn't of course, but it was fun turning that table on her (and it actually worked out fine for us as we had dinner reservations anyway for Diane's Birthday).
The call was really good, going over her pass as well as her new years goals. She was commended on them by both 'B' and 'A' because instead of the 3 or 4 pages of junk she usually did she simply had a few, straightforward concise goals.
We talked a bit about how realistic they were - she is saying she wants to graduate high school there - but that would mean she needs something like 9 more credits after what she is already taking now, and we said that just wasn't realistic. What would be realistic is for her to complete her junior year by this summer, so that when she gets out she will be where she should be in school.
She has started the 18 year old meetings, and is staffing the pre-discovery meetings. She is also working on her points, and she thinks she can go up for level 5 next week (she should be able to be voted up and just wait to complete the staffing). Angie said we should know by the 15th if she is going to make it for PC III in February.
It is such a change to start talking about her actually coming home. We have not wavered on our committment, but she is really working to make PC IV in June. One way or the other she will be out of there in about 9 months (at most) (either graduating in June or August, or because she turns 18 in July and leaves, or the last loan (assuming we get it) runs out at the end of the September).
The call was really good, going over her pass as well as her new years goals. She was commended on them by both 'B' and 'A' because instead of the 3 or 4 pages of junk she usually did she simply had a few, straightforward concise goals.
We talked a bit about how realistic they were - she is saying she wants to graduate high school there - but that would mean she needs something like 9 more credits after what she is already taking now, and we said that just wasn't realistic. What would be realistic is for her to complete her junior year by this summer, so that when she gets out she will be where she should be in school.
She has started the 18 year old meetings, and is staffing the pre-discovery meetings. She is also working on her points, and she thinks she can go up for level 5 next week (she should be able to be voted up and just wait to complete the staffing). Angie said we should know by the 15th if she is going to make it for PC III in February.
It is such a change to start talking about her actually coming home. We have not wavered on our committment, but she is really working to make PC IV in June. One way or the other she will be out of there in about 9 months (at most) (either graduating in June or August, or because she turns 18 in July and leaves, or the last loan (assuming we get it) runs out at the end of the September).
Friday, December 28, 2007
Weekly update
I had a call with 'A' last night, and Katie is still doing well. She is still a little over excited after the pass, and they are watching that to make sure it doesn't go back into old patterns.
Looks like we will know by January 15th if she is going to be level 5 in time for PC3 in February, or we will be doing PC2 the weekend before instead. One thing is that PC2/3 comes with another 3 day pass - and there really isn't any way we can do that as well - that would actually put us gone for 8 days (3 days for the seminar, 3 for the pass, 2 for travel). Not really doable, though we will look into maybe adding a day before/after for a pass.
Katie has over 1000 pts (needs 1600), and needs her staffing credit, which they are going to schedule for her this week I believe, and then support for level 5 of course.
We are going to talk again after the PC about putting her through the opposite side of the process that she was on before. This is where other girls were going into Orange for things she did - now we want to have her go into Orange for what someone else does. I see this as beneficial for two reasons - the first and most important is to make sure she can deal with setbacks. So far every time she has hit a bump in the road she has completely derailed and blown it, and we want to make sure she can handle this. The second is to simply give her a chance to see the other side. I mentioned to 'A' that you do learn a lot being on the other side of any process, and she agreed.
'A' went and checked Katie's weight - she is currently 240, down 31 lbs since she came in. Not the 175 she claimed, which we knew was not realistic, but still that is good. I think she may have grown a bit taller as well, as she is big but not huge. When Katie and Diane went shopping for some jeans she was able to find and fit a pair of 20's right off the wrack - which she had never been able to do before.
We also talked about the religion issue a bit, and Katie had led 'A' to believe that we were Mormon - she never told her that it was just her mom, and she had just been baptised in the Mormon church right a month or so before she got there, and that only a few months after being baptised in the Baptist church.
So a good call, and more progress.
Looks like we will know by January 15th if she is going to be level 5 in time for PC3 in February, or we will be doing PC2 the weekend before instead. One thing is that PC2/3 comes with another 3 day pass - and there really isn't any way we can do that as well - that would actually put us gone for 8 days (3 days for the seminar, 3 for the pass, 2 for travel). Not really doable, though we will look into maybe adding a day before/after for a pass.
Katie has over 1000 pts (needs 1600), and needs her staffing credit, which they are going to schedule for her this week I believe, and then support for level 5 of course.
We are going to talk again after the PC about putting her through the opposite side of the process that she was on before. This is where other girls were going into Orange for things she did - now we want to have her go into Orange for what someone else does. I see this as beneficial for two reasons - the first and most important is to make sure she can deal with setbacks. So far every time she has hit a bump in the road she has completely derailed and blown it, and we want to make sure she can handle this. The second is to simply give her a chance to see the other side. I mentioned to 'A' that you do learn a lot being on the other side of any process, and she agreed.
'A' went and checked Katie's weight - she is currently 240, down 31 lbs since she came in. Not the 175 she claimed, which we knew was not realistic, but still that is good. I think she may have grown a bit taller as well, as she is big but not huge. When Katie and Diane went shopping for some jeans she was able to find and fit a pair of 20's right off the wrack - which she had never been able to do before.
We also talked about the religion issue a bit, and Katie had led 'A' to believe that we were Mormon - she never told her that it was just her mom, and she had just been baptised in the Mormon church right a month or so before she got there, and that only a few months after being baptised in the Baptist church.
So a good call, and more progress.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Back at Home
We are home, and I'm back at work (such fun), but luckily it is always very slow between Christmas and New Year here.
The pass with Katlyn went great! She and Diane had a real nice girls time, doing some shopping for her. Katie was so happy to be able to go and pick a pair of jeans right off the rack and have them fit without problems! I'm going to have 'A' check to see exactly how much weight she has lost in the program - Katie is saying 175 lbs but that is not realistic (it would mean that she was either over 350 going in, or is now less than 125, and neither of those is true).
We had some good conversations, and even had the opportunity to deal with some issues at the St. George mall, which was good. One thing that was very powerful, which we almost forgot but remembered Sunday afternoon, was for Katie to do an exercise with letting go of her mother. She wrote her a letter, then tied it to a balloon and released it. A lot of tears, but watching it float off into the moonlight was pretty powerful, and she said that she really felt like a bit burden was lifted from her.
We managed to do just about everything on her list for her pass, including all the food all the girls wanted her to eat for them (with pictures for her to show them!). She said that all the girls were so excited to smell the chlorine in her hair when she went back on Saturday night after we had gone swimming!
Then it was over. All to quick, but a very good visit. We can actually see the beautiful young woman that would be welcome back in our home in the future.
Now we just hope this inspires her to keep working.
The pass with Katlyn went great! She and Diane had a real nice girls time, doing some shopping for her. Katie was so happy to be able to go and pick a pair of jeans right off the rack and have them fit without problems! I'm going to have 'A' check to see exactly how much weight she has lost in the program - Katie is saying 175 lbs but that is not realistic (it would mean that she was either over 350 going in, or is now less than 125, and neither of those is true).
We had some good conversations, and even had the opportunity to deal with some issues at the St. George mall, which was good. One thing that was very powerful, which we almost forgot but remembered Sunday afternoon, was for Katie to do an exercise with letting go of her mother. She wrote her a letter, then tied it to a balloon and released it. A lot of tears, but watching it float off into the moonlight was pretty powerful, and she said that she really felt like a bit burden was lifted from her.
We managed to do just about everything on her list for her pass, including all the food all the girls wanted her to eat for them (with pictures for her to show them!). She said that all the girls were so excited to smell the chlorine in her hair when she went back on Saturday night after we had gone swimming!
Then it was over. All to quick, but a very good visit. We can actually see the beautiful young woman that would be welcome back in our home in the future.
Now we just hope this inspires her to keep working.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Mid Pass Update
I'm sitting in our hotel room in the metropolis of Hurricane, UT, trying to keep from eating some of the snacks we brought. Katie and Diane are out having some girl time - doing some shopping and getting their hair done.
The pass is going very well. 'A' brought Katie down yesterday morning, and she was really surprised to see us. She came down with a friend she has made here - a very sweet girl a little younger than she is who just got voted up to level 6 and is working on graduating, probably in February. We went to breakfast and then drove up to check out where Zion National Park was and get some pictures from the La Verkin overlook (the temperature isn't too cold, but the wind was pretty chilly). I was worried about getting back in time (I hate unfamiliar areas), and ended up getting a speeding ticket on the way back - and of course was only a couple of miles away at that point and still we were a little early.
We went to a group session, and all the girls in Katie's group were so sweet and all wanted to talk to us and get/give hugs. At times it is really hard to picture them (and Katie as well) in the behaviours that got them there - they all seem so sweet and wonderful when you meet them.
We caught a movie (ps. I love you) - a real chick flick and Katie was just crying through the last half of it - but she really liked it. Then dinner and back for the evening. We picked her up this morning and they are now off doing their thing.
So things are going well. 'B' did tell us that to expect yesterday and today (and maybe tomorrow) a 'honeymoon' phase - but we are trying to work on some real issues - which is why it is so important for Katie and Diane to spend time together.
The pass is going very well. 'A' brought Katie down yesterday morning, and she was really surprised to see us. She came down with a friend she has made here - a very sweet girl a little younger than she is who just got voted up to level 6 and is working on graduating, probably in February. We went to breakfast and then drove up to check out where Zion National Park was and get some pictures from the La Verkin overlook (the temperature isn't too cold, but the wind was pretty chilly). I was worried about getting back in time (I hate unfamiliar areas), and ended up getting a speeding ticket on the way back - and of course was only a couple of miles away at that point and still we were a little early.
We went to a group session, and all the girls in Katie's group were so sweet and all wanted to talk to us and get/give hugs. At times it is really hard to picture them (and Katie as well) in the behaviours that got them there - they all seem so sweet and wonderful when you meet them.
We caught a movie (ps. I love you) - a real chick flick and Katie was just crying through the last half of it - but she really liked it. Then dinner and back for the evening. We picked her up this morning and they are now off doing their thing.
So things are going well. 'B' did tell us that to expect yesterday and today (and maybe tomorrow) a 'honeymoon' phase - but we are trying to work on some real issues - which is why it is so important for Katie and Diane to spend time together.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Preparations
So it is time to get ready. In a week we will see Katie again, for the first time in 14 months, and for her first off-grounds pass. We pick her up at 8:00 am and have to have her back by 8:00 pm for three days. The first day we will be attending one of her group therapy sessions, and then have a family session with the therapist. But after that it is completely up to us. We do have to have a goal for the pass.
That is always one of the frustrations I have with some of the seminars - it is very common to want us to have goals for the seminars when they begin - yet for most of these I have no idea beforehand what the seminar is - so I don't have a way to set a goal for it.
Katie is still doing well. She has only two requirements left to hit level 5 - she has to start staffing other seminars (and they are going to start going over staffing assignments after Christmas), and she needs to earn enough points. Right now she has 1/4 of the points she needs, so she should be on track for both of those to hit level 5 in time for PC III in February.
I am trying very hard to not get my hopes up, but she is doing better and has progressed farther than ever before, and there may actually be hope for her to graduate. I don't know what we would do then (having her home again after three years will still be a bit strange, but it is a good problem to have).
That is always one of the frustrations I have with some of the seminars - it is very common to want us to have goals for the seminars when they begin - yet for most of these I have no idea beforehand what the seminar is - so I don't have a way to set a goal for it.
Katie is still doing well. She has only two requirements left to hit level 5 - she has to start staffing other seminars (and they are going to start going over staffing assignments after Christmas), and she needs to earn enough points. Right now she has 1/4 of the points she needs, so she should be on track for both of those to hit level 5 in time for PC III in February.
I am trying very hard to not get my hopes up, but she is doing better and has progressed farther than ever before, and there may actually be hope for her to graduate. I don't know what we would do then (having her home again after three years will still be a bit strange, but it is a good problem to have).
Friday, December 07, 2007
Girl Call
Well this week I didn't talk to Katie, as it was just a call with Diane instead (and with 'B', the therapist there, of course).
I don't feel bad for being excluded. Not at all. I know when I'm not wanted. *sniff*
:-) :-) :-) :-)
Diane said it went well, if a little 'light'.
We are a little concerned that she got 3 cat 3's in one day, and don't even want to think that she could drop and lose the pass. She has done that before, I just so want her to finally be 'getting it' and really working at last.
I don't feel bad for being excluded. Not at all. I know when I'm not wanted. *sniff*
:-) :-) :-) :-)
Diane said it went well, if a little 'light'.
We are a little concerned that she got 3 cat 3's in one day, and don't even want to think that she could drop and lose the pass. She has done that before, I just so want her to finally be 'getting it' and really working at last.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Plans and worries
Wow. We had a great call with 'A' tonight. Katie is, for once, doing really, really well. She presented her goals for level 5 in group today, but forgot one so has to do it again. She has been on manor service, and is apparently working very well on it.
And we have our pass scheduled! Not only that, but got fairly good rates on a direct flight to vegas, so it will make the travel that much less stressful. I didn't realize that they don't tell the girls about ANY passes until the last minute, so it will be a slight challenge not to mention anything for the next three weeks. Especially when we have our phone call with her the night before we see her!
The only problem is that all our shopping will have to be done before we leave Ohio, as we won't get home until 10:30 on Christmas Eve. But that is not a bad problem to have.
It looks like we have our choice (given that Katies makes level 5) of going to PC II or PC III in February (these are the new ones - PC II is all new, and PC III replaces the old PC II (and thus PC IV is now graduation)). The weekend for PC II is better for us, but it concerns me that she wouldn't have time left to graduate if we did that (assuming things go well). We just don't have the finances to keep her there longer than 3 years total, and she does turn 18 in July. So we should probably do PCIII in Feb, which could allow her to graduate in June and allow for some slippage before she runs out of time and we run out of money.
Of course, all this assumes that she has truly turned a corner, and won't drop severely (and stay there) yet again. That is what happened the last two times we saw her (for PC I and then for a therapy visit). It is extremely hard to not get excited and get my hopes up.
And we have our pass scheduled! Not only that, but got fairly good rates on a direct flight to vegas, so it will make the travel that much less stressful. I didn't realize that they don't tell the girls about ANY passes until the last minute, so it will be a slight challenge not to mention anything for the next three weeks. Especially when we have our phone call with her the night before we see her!
The only problem is that all our shopping will have to be done before we leave Ohio, as we won't get home until 10:30 on Christmas Eve. But that is not a bad problem to have.
It looks like we have our choice (given that Katies makes level 5) of going to PC II or PC III in February (these are the new ones - PC II is all new, and PC III replaces the old PC II (and thus PC IV is now graduation)). The weekend for PC II is better for us, but it concerns me that she wouldn't have time left to graduate if we did that (assuming things go well). We just don't have the finances to keep her there longer than 3 years total, and she does turn 18 in July. So we should probably do PCIII in Feb, which could allow her to graduate in June and allow for some slippage before she runs out of time and we run out of money.
Of course, all this assumes that she has truly turned a corner, and won't drop severely (and stay there) yet again. That is what happened the last two times we saw her (for PC I and then for a therapy visit). It is extremely hard to not get excited and get my hopes up.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Celebrations and Frustrations
We had a very good call with Katie and 'B' tonight - she made Level 4 today!!!! Great news, and she seems to be really working things now.
But I'm facing some personal frustrations - just trying to figure out when we can do a pass to see her now, with the holidays and everything - and nearly every weekend in December is already booked with things that either Diane or I can't change.
And the she is also talking about PC2, which is also great news - except for the weekend when it is scheduled is also something very big for us here. (Our band boosters are bringing in the Comedian Heywood Banks that weekend for a concert, and we are both on the board).
I'm frustrated that everything always seems to be at the last minute, and it feels like any time that cost is mentioned then I just hear about not being a +5 and that if I was then it wouldn't matter.
Part of me feels like when she was home over two years ago, and we would have to drop everything to deal with her.
I also feel frustrated because I feel it is as important for Diane to be there as it is for me, as they have so much more issues to work out between them. And I feel that Diane is apprehensive, and maybe even reluctant, about going out there, when I want her to be more enthusiastic.
But I'm facing some personal frustrations - just trying to figure out when we can do a pass to see her now, with the holidays and everything - and nearly every weekend in December is already booked with things that either Diane or I can't change.
And the she is also talking about PC2, which is also great news - except for the weekend when it is scheduled is also something very big for us here. (Our band boosters are bringing in the Comedian Heywood Banks that weekend for a concert, and we are both on the board).
I'm frustrated that everything always seems to be at the last minute, and it feels like any time that cost is mentioned then I just hear about not being a +5 and that if I was then it wouldn't matter.
Part of me feels like when she was home over two years ago, and we would have to drop everything to deal with her.
I also feel frustrated because I feel it is as important for Diane to be there as it is for me, as they have so much more issues to work out between them. And I feel that Diane is apprehensive, and maybe even reluctant, about going out there, when I want her to be more enthusiastic.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Learning Patience
We had a good call with 'A' last night. Katie got into the vote up book for level 4, however she (again) got too many categories in the week to go up. but she is working harder now than she has before, and seems to be handling things much better.
So we continue to wait for that pass to come. 'A' did say that she expects her to make it to level four by the end of the month, so instead of mailing off her christmas presents we may give them to 'A' in person! But once again that is getting ahead of the game, and one thing Katie said is that she is learning patience - as are we.
One concern I have is about her long term goals, and just how viable they are. Right now she is so stubborn about being a vet, but is still struggling with 9th grade Algebra. I've been a bit worried about her school progress, though that isn't the primary goal here. She has to finish her 9th grade Algebra still, then 10th grade Geometry and she is almost done with 10th grade Biology, and is taking some 11th grade courses. Ideally she would complete all the 11th grade work by the time she left, but who knows now.
However to get into vetrinary school you need strong math skills - and she just doesn't have that. She has so much talent in art and writing, but can't seem to get the idea of working to her strengths into her head. I hate to see her set herself up for disappointment.
Friday, November 09, 2007
First the good news . . .
We had our therapy call with Katie and 'B' last night. It was a pretty good, working call. First the good news - Katie got support from the group for level 4! However she was not able to go to the high level meeting to get voted up there, apparently she just crossed the Category line (total number) about an hour before the meeting. But she is one step closer - maybe next week.
She started talking about all the feelings she had coming up, of not being worthy and suicide etc. As we explored this, she started talking a little about the basketball team.
I'm still confused about this, but apparently she didn't make the regular team, but she didn't get cut either. She is staying on as the manager, and is basically an alternate for other girls who, for whatever reason, don't have their level to play (level 3 for home games, level 4 for away). As we talked about this, it became pretty clear that she was pretty upset about not really making the team. A lot of it tied in to her weight and tying in her self acceptance to being picked on the team.
So something she was just barely mentioning was hiding a significant issue, and we worked on it a bit. I think we made some progress there.
One other interesting point - she did not know that her poem was in the newsletter! That helped to bring things into perspective - where we each have our own strengths and weaknesses, and while she will never be a star athlete (yes, unfortunately she most likely inherited my amazing *cough* athletic prowess (I was the kid in Junior High who was on the third string of the non-tournament team - and never scored a single basket all season in a game)).
What is a bit frustrating for me is that she can't seem to accept her strengths, and seems to always want to focus on her weaknesses. Things like basketball and being a vet (which requires a lot of math and science, the two subjects she struggles the most in), instead of pursuing her creative (i.e. writing) talents. We even had a discussion with A & B about this a while back, and they talked to all the girls about working on the things they are good at, rather than fighting to do the things they don't have natural aptitudes for.
She started talking about all the feelings she had coming up, of not being worthy and suicide etc. As we explored this, she started talking a little about the basketball team.
I'm still confused about this, but apparently she didn't make the regular team, but she didn't get cut either. She is staying on as the manager, and is basically an alternate for other girls who, for whatever reason, don't have their level to play (level 3 for home games, level 4 for away). As we talked about this, it became pretty clear that she was pretty upset about not really making the team. A lot of it tied in to her weight and tying in her self acceptance to being picked on the team.
So something she was just barely mentioning was hiding a significant issue, and we worked on it a bit. I think we made some progress there.
One other interesting point - she did not know that her poem was in the newsletter! That helped to bring things into perspective - where we each have our own strengths and weaknesses, and while she will never be a star athlete (yes, unfortunately she most likely inherited my amazing *cough* athletic prowess (I was the kid in Junior High who was on the third string of the non-tournament team - and never scored a single basket all season in a game)).
What is a bit frustrating for me is that she can't seem to accept her strengths, and seems to always want to focus on her weaknesses. Things like basketball and being a vet (which requires a lot of math and science, the two subjects she struggles the most in), instead of pursuing her creative (i.e. writing) talents. We even had a discussion with A & B about this a while back, and they talked to all the girls about working on the things they are good at, rather than fighting to do the things they don't have natural aptitudes for.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Not much change
We talked with 'A' yesterday, and things are pretty much the same. Katie did not go to vote up for level 4 this past week, she says she is going to next week, but we'll see. It is all about what she does anymore, not what she says.
I just found, via the schools support BBS, that they have been putting out a newsletter for the past year - I never knew this before. On checking these - Katie was Student Leader of the Month back in June/July (they only did one that month) for her group - I didn't know that. Plus she has a poem in the October issue - I didn't know that either.
And they have changed the seminars from 3 PC (Parent / Child) seminars to 4 - so we may be eligible for another one any time now - I sent an email to 'A' to check on what was going on with this. I'm a little frustrated and not finding out more of this already, but I'm getting over it.
I just found, via the schools support BBS, that they have been putting out a newsletter for the past year - I never knew this before. On checking these - Katie was Student Leader of the Month back in June/July (they only did one that month) for her group - I didn't know that. Plus she has a poem in the October issue - I didn't know that either.
And they have changed the seminars from 3 PC (Parent / Child) seminars to 4 - so we may be eligible for another one any time now - I sent an email to 'A' to check on what was going on with this. I'm a little frustrated and not finding out more of this already, but I'm getting over it.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Good Call
We had our therapy call with Katie last night. It was good, if interesting.
First, she made level 3, and is actually going up for level 4 next week. Plus she graduated Principles, so I guess (and this was news to me) that we don't have to wait 4 weeks from when she makes level 4 fora pass - the requirements are level 4 + EITHER 4 weeks or graduate principles. So we may have a pass pretty quickly - but I'm not jumping on that yet.
She was very excited and happy, but then we mentioned we might have to cut the call a little short (we were on our way to meet some people to go to the local comedy club to see Heywood Banks, who our band boosters are booking for a fundraiser in February), and she had a bit of a meltdown on the phone. Instant victim mode. She was so concerned about losing any of the call time - and spent half of it crying and upset, feeling like we didn't care about her.
However we were able to work through this, and help her to see he own victim mode and language, and the rest of the call was good. Yes, we had to cut it about 5 minutes short.
She has been writing a lot of poetry lately, which I did at her age as well. She read one, and I felt I did good because I did not go into critique mode, which is what I tend to do anymore with it (probably because I took Creative Writing in college one too many times :-) ). I did talk to her about being able to receive criticism and not to take it personally. I recognized in what she has been writing the pure raw emotion that is so typical of teenagers. She has a huge amount of talent, but it will take a lot of development before she truly gets good.
So the call ended well. In 6 weeks she and Diane are going to have the call with just the two of them - so that could be good.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Some progress
It looks like our call last week may have had some effect - when we taked with 'A' last night she said that Katie was doing much better this week, working much harder. Apparently even the directory of the facility commented on how she was actually working really hard. She seems to really be enjoying the basketball team, with tryouts at the beginning of the month. She got her vote up in group this week to level 3, and should have it by the staff today. So if she doesn't melt down again then she could actually make the team and play (at least home games). I just hope if she does that she is better than I was at basketball (I sucked back then, and still do now).
I'm not getting any hopes up, but any encouraging news is just that, encouraging. I guess right now I'm waiting for the next stumbling block that gets in her way - the key to if she is really beginning to change is not what she does when it is 'easy', but how she will handle the bad things that WILL happen.
I'm not getting any hopes up, but any encouraging news is just that, encouraging. I guess right now I'm waiting for the next stumbling block that gets in her way - the key to if she is really beginning to change is not what she does when it is 'easy', but how she will handle the bad things that WILL happen.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
one small step
We had our call with B and Katie last night, a day early because I guess he is taking today off.
It started pretty normally - i.e. her talking about how she is doing all these things, but not showing any real progress. We started to question her a bit because she was working on some level 5 requirements - and when asked why she was doing that instead of working to get level 3 still, she said she had done all of them for 3 and 4.
So I asked if she had truly done them all, then why didn't she vote up already? If she had done them, then why wasn't she supported.
She started talking about being scared to vote up, and being afraid the responsibility of suceeding. As she tried to explain this, B called her on it, saying that the reasons she was giving weren't adding up. As we dove deeper into this, she actually started to get a little real, and into some territory that was a bit more difficult for her.
So while it didn't start out very well (in my opinion), the call ended up being pretty strong. We are still waiting to see results, but this was a positive step.
It started pretty normally - i.e. her talking about how she is doing all these things, but not showing any real progress. We started to question her a bit because she was working on some level 5 requirements - and when asked why she was doing that instead of working to get level 3 still, she said she had done all of them for 3 and 4.
So I asked if she had truly done them all, then why didn't she vote up already? If she had done them, then why wasn't she supported.
She started talking about being scared to vote up, and being afraid the responsibility of suceeding. As she tried to explain this, B called her on it, saying that the reasons she was giving weren't adding up. As we dove deeper into this, she actually started to get a little real, and into some territory that was a bit more difficult for her.
So while it didn't start out very well (in my opinion), the call ended up being pretty strong. We are still waiting to see results, but this was a positive step.
Friday, October 05, 2007
not much news
I had our call with 'A' last night (Diane couldn't be on it, she had to work). Fairly uneventful - things are pretty much the same right now. Katie is showing some slight progress, but nothing spectactular, and in fact nothing we haven't seen before, again and again. This seems to be her current pattern, work the program for a while until she hits a stumbling block, then completely crash and burn.
She did join the basketball team, and is working hard on that. We are not an athletic family at all, so this is a good departure, and the fact that she is working this is good news.
So we continue to wait.
She did join the basketball team, and is working hard on that. We are not an athletic family at all, so this is a good departure, and the fact that she is working this is good news.
So we continue to wait.
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