From Diane

Well, I finally wrote Katie a letter. I was very honest and didn't "sugar coat" anything, but was not mean either. I did include that I was very proud of her for finally starting to work the program and that it would be hard, but anything worth having is usually hard to get. I have received two letters from her and they've been very sweet and almost apologetic but not going quite that far. She says she wants to work on our relationship and I truly hope so. I think these seminars have really helped me also, and I hope I can get past the hurts and "be the adult" as I've been told. Not sure what she will say in her next letter. I hope she stays in the orientation for the whole weekend and not give up. Not sure how she'll do when she gets to Focus but hopefully she'll be much stronger by then. That's a tough one, but totally worth it. Other than that, I am slowly working on my Focus homework and have another one of my "Focus Family" small group calls next week. We are all keeping in touch by email and that's nice to have those contacts. I spent a couple hours today dropping off pamphlets to some of the area police departments and talked with the inpatient place Katie was at last a few times last year. They want me to drop off 20-25 of them and think it sounds like a great thing. I also talked with her last therapist and she took 2 copies of the pamphlets, and also thought it was great information to know.
-Diane

Getting Ready for Orientation. Again

I talked with the therapist on Friday, and with Katie. She is trying to prepare to go back to Orientation next weekend. I'm hoping that she will graduate this time, and not 'choose out' again. I know they say not to get hung up on levels or advancement - but after four months you want to see something, some tangible movement forward. She has been asking for a stuffed animal. I hope to get her one as a present for graduating focus. I don't want it where she just gets things without earning them anymore. I haven't told her that is what I want to do, so we'll see.

M-

Coming back to reality

Well, as all things do, the buzz from focus is fading. My 'focus family' had their first call last night, which went well. The first week afterward is the easiest, it is now going to get a wee bit more challenging to keep everyone working on our goals etc.

I have a semi-weekly call with Katie's therapist, every other Monday at 7:30. Well he just called me, and we'll do it on Friday this week because he has some family obligations. Not a big deal, though I was hoping a bit to talk with Katie. I'm having a real hard time writing letters - simply running out of things to say in a letter. It seems so formal and stunted - hard to get any real communication going. And so far her letters haven't had much in the way of substance.

So it begins - somewhere in the middle

Like most weeks, this has been fairly normal, nothing special happening since we got home late Sunday. The Focus seminar was fantastic. When we went to Discovery in December, I thought that was powerful, and came back feeling great. But I'm not sure how much I was changed there. This time wasn't like that - I feel different inside and out (of course, being completely clean shaven for the first time in twenty years may have something to do with that :-) ).

I talked to our Family Rep on Tuesday - Katie is doing well. She isn't resisting, but isn't working the program either. She seems to be in that middle state of just waiting right now. She did set herself for three Cat3's this week - I'm not sure if she ended up with them or not. She is balancing precariously on whether she is going back to orange again or not. I do hope she decides to start working for the next Orientation - it would be nice for her to graduate.

Mike