The sad victimization of America

I'm not sure if Dan Rather created the phrase, but I first heard it from him when his book came out about "The Greatest Generation", talking about the men and women who lived during and fought in World War II.

This was just after the great depression, when the New Deal came out to put people back to work, and the beginnings of the modern welfare state were created. While being the son of two democrats may mean that I can't reject the concept outright; I look at the results that I see now in America, and I just think how sad the Greatest Generation must feel looking at what they fought and died for.

We have become a nation of victims. You hear about it every day on the news. Constantly, people who are victims. Be it crime, natural disasters, personal tragedy or what have you - everyone is a victim. The media loves to analyze everything, and blame it on anything they can, from the comic books of the 1950's to video games and movies of today.

Look at the people in New Orleans who are still whining and complaining about being victims of Katrina. These are the same poor, helpless victims who wouldn't leave when they were told to, and who (while not all of them) started looting and even shooting at the helicopters sent to help them later. These poor victims years later still can't take care of themselves.

Our grandparents should be ashamed. No, that isn't right. We should be ashamed - ashamed of what this nation has become.

Years ago, if you spilt coffee in you lap, it was your fault. Now you are a victim and suing the restaurant who gave you the hot coffee. If you lift up a running lawn mower and try to trim a hedge with it and cut off your hand - you are a victim of the company who made it because they didn't tell you not to do it, an build in safe guards to prevent it. If you are fat you are a victim of the fast food companies for putting the trans-fats in the food you shoved into you mouth.

What happened to personal responsibility? What happened to people saying they were responsible for their lives, their own decisions? Sure things happen. But it is always our choice how to deal with it - as a victim or to take responsibility for our decisions and actions.

One thing I have discovered in the past few years is that I am not a part of mainstream America. I don't fit in. I don't watch American Idol. I think Dancing with the Stars has to be one of the most boring concepts for a television show in my lifetime. Most of the things I tend to enjoy, I find that very few others do. I like to make my own decisions about things. I take responsibility for my actions, responsibility for my self and responsibility for my family. I do not let my heart rule my head, and I try to think through all my decisions, based on the best evidence I have at the time. I don't do what I feel is best, I do what I THINK is best.

These don't seem to be the normal things for American society these days. I don't believe in suing somebody because I don't like what they did (and I think that the huge amount of frivilous lawsuits are one of the worst things going on in America today, and should be stopped immediately). I do my best to pay my bills, put food on the table, clothes on our backs and a roof over the head of my family. I work hard at my job, and expect to be paid a reasonable amount for it.

I don't think that I deserve millions of dollars for sitting on my butt. I don't think the world owes me anything. I don't expect anyone else to take care of my family. I am not perfect, and I make mistakes. I accept the consequences of my actions. I don't blame others for my actions, for my successes or for my failures. I don't ask for your permission to live my life the way I choose, nor do I ask for your approval of my decisions, as neither of those are yours to give.

I am not a victim, and I am doing my best to see that I am not raising my children to be victims either.

This may not seem appropriate for this forum, but me and my family have come under attack recently (and quite visciously) because of decisions I have made - all of which I have been sharing for the past few years here, and this has been on my mind the past few days. I've tried to make this a resource for those other families who might also be struggling with troubled teenagers, not to promote any school or solution, but to simply say "You are not alone". Yes, in the end you have to make the appropriate decision for yourself and your family, as I did. You have to be responsible for your actions, whatever they may be. But here is one story, here is how one family struggled (and still struggles) so perhaps it might ease the burden on some other family to know they aren't the only ones.

I do not apologize for taking the actions that I thought best, nor do I ask anyones approval nor forgiveness. The choices I have made may not have given me the results that I wnated, but I accept that. I will continue to make choices to attempt to achieve the results for my family that I want, as I have always done.

Once more I find myself rambling, and realize that this sounds like a goodbye. As much as those who have attacked me lately wish it, this is not. It may be a rant, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm simply going to continue to be the best father that I know how to be, the best husband that I can be, and the best person that I am capable of.

I will not swear back at those who swear at me, will not curse back at those who choose to curse at me. I will not respond to anonymous cowards who attack others while hiding. I will not attack back those who are choosing to attack me - because in my life - they do not matter. Like mosquitos or gnats, they are but a momentary irritation, and worth even less consideration.

I will continue to personally respond to those who are at least open and honest enough to identify themselves, as I have done, and wish to discuss things without resorting to personal attacks.

One last note - anyone who thinks they have some deep and meaningful insight into me or my family because of a few posts I have made in a blog is sorely mistaken. It takes much more than a brief glimpse at someones lives to understand them. Many people may think this is a detailed account of everything that has happened in the past five years, and it is far from it. It is an attempt to share some of my feelings, and some of what we went through. Like anything else, there is so much, much more beneath the surface. If anything, this is an outline of one part of the story of my family, not the whole story. And while I may sometimes go on too long, as I have today, I am not a writer, and most of the story will never be told.

So for those very few that have been reading for these past five years, thanks. To those who have just started reading - well I wish to welcome those who will read the purpose of this and take it for what it is.